


Keep the corporation clean

by PastelPenguins



Series: Good Omens Crack-fics [9]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crack, Discord: O Lord Heal This Server, OLHTS made me do it, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:34:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24873133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelPenguins/pseuds/PastelPenguins
Summary: The theme this week was housework, is cleaning a corporation housework? Probably not but its still cleaning and it's horrifying so you can bet it's a chore that gets added to a chore list.
Series: Good Omens Crack-fics [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789609
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: The Not-Very-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies of OLHTS





	Keep the corporation clean

Skin is a porous material and because of this, corporations can often be difficult to clean. The cleaning of a corporation is important for several reasons, not only will it prolong the life of one’s material body, but cleaning it will also aid in the removal of smells and odors as nothing is worse than putting some meat suit on only to have one’s senses assaulted by the smell of poorly cleaned skin. Both Aziraphale and Crowley could attest to that.

Most of the time any celestial or infernal being will happily just hop into a shower or pool of water to have their corporation cleaned with soap and rinsed thoroughly clean. Unfortunately due to the makeup of them they need additional cleaning and reconditioning from time to time, and the longer a corporation is worn the more often it needs to be cleaned and reconditioned so that the skin doesn’t dry out or get ruined. 

One part of this reconditioning is making sure the skin stays waterproof and lubricated, usually taking oil from the uropygial gland, informally known as the preen gland or the oil gland, of oneself is an excellent way to do this. This is due to the fact that it contains a rich source of palmitoleic acid which is very similar to the properties of human sebum which is an oily/waxy substance humans naturally produce. Conditioners such as aforementioned oil will work really well, not only in the cleaning processes, but additionally will aid in providing water repellent properties which will help prevent moisture build up and mildew development on one’s corporation.

It doesn’t hurt that it also helps keep the corporation soft and supple as well, though that can be a bit of an issue when beings are first issued a corporation and feel that trait for the first time, many corporations have had to be burned as the insides become er… filled as a human might fill a manicotti noodle dish. A comparison that had some angels swearing off human food completely, though not Aziraphale and Crowley was immensely happy to find that out. Beelzebub on the other hand… well zey figure Gabriel will come around to the idea someday.


End file.
